Welcome Back, Internationals
Abandoned as an infant high in the mountains of Colorado, James was taken in and raised by a family of marmots. They trained him in the art of satire, but warned him: ‘With great power comes great responsibility.’ He didn’t understand the truth of their words until his adopted rodent brother, Donald Trump’s hair, turned to the dark side.
James could only sit by and watch, helpless and appalled, as his evil brother meme’d his way to the White House. Forever changed by what he had seen, James fled to The Netherlands and vowed to always use his powers for good.
Welcome back to young and old,
To this here land of wet and cold.
A trip down south, back home, it’s hot,
Beside the sea up here, it’s not.
Amidst year one, or perhaps six,
Housed in rooms made not of brick,
Live students spurned by legislation,
Who’ve sacrificed for education.
We’ve had our fill of christmas cheer
And just rang in another year
So sit down now, put down your drink
It’s time to rub your brow and think:
To further knowledge, ponder, question,
Like can you ditch at your discretion?
The minimum to pass a class,
And how you might get laid at last.
When Ukraine’s wars just might be over,
And should one go to class hungover?
Whether the president is mad,
And you never quite learned to add.
Brexit, exams, don’t muck ‘em up.
So welcome back, and buckle up.