Science

Disgusted by sex

When gross becomes good

Children are often extremely disgusted by sex, especially when it comes to family. Why is this? RUG researchers Peter de Jong and Charmaine Borg tried to figure it out.
By Matthijs Nieuwenhuijse / Translation by Sarah van Steenderen / Photo by Jonnie Andersen

‘Gross!’ RUG professor experimental psychopathology Peter de Jong’s children exclaimed when they saw two people French kissing in a soap for teenagers. He was immediately fascinated, since he had not felt that same disgust for kissing when he was young. On the contrary: he couldn’t wait to try it out himself. Time for a study.

Why were his children so disgusted? Don’t people in general have a positive attitude towards sex and intimacy? Together with Charmaine Borg, who studies sexology at the RUG, De Jong looked at disgust in children from different age groups, performing two different studies. The age groups were from nine to eleven years old (pre-adolescents), twelve to fourteen (early adolescents) and fourteen to seventeen (middle adolescents). Children in early adolescence indeed display a higher level of disgust.

This disgust is an important function of survival. ‘It’s an emotion that allows us to avoid invisible threats’, De Jong explains. Wild animals are a visible threat, but bacteria aren’t. ‘So there is an evolutionary impetus to keep pathogens away from us. That results in disgust.’

Disgust is the impetus to want to avoid disease

There are different kinds of disgust that all fall under the same ‘disgust umbrella’, says Borg. ‘Each kind of disgust is ultimately an impetus to want to avoid diseases’, the psychologist says. ‘Pathogenic disgust is the best example: people are disgusted by rotting food because it contains pathogenic organisms. It’s a threat.’

De Jong and Borg’s research focused on this pathogenic type of disgust. They did two studies in two groups of school children from different age groups.

Toothbrush

The children were presented with different scenarios. On a scale of one to one hundred, they had to indicate how disgusted they were by each scenario. Some of these scenarios were sexual, while others weren’t. Having to borrow someone’s toothbrush has nothing to do with sex, but being touched or kissed does.

For sexually irrelevant stimuli, the level of disgust was lower when they came from family members. It makes sense: we’d rather borrow our mother’s toothbrush than the one from the neighbour across the street we don’t know. After all, we grew up in the same environment as our mothers, which means we share the same bacteria. There is no danger from the outside world in this scenario.

But in the case of sexually relevant stimuli, the level of disgust was actually higher when they pertained to family members. At least, for the early and middle adolescent children. Children ranging from twelve to seventeen years old would rather be touched or kissed by someone they are not related to. This could be explained by the natural desire for genetic variation: sex with relatives is genetically unfavourable and actually poses a threat to procreation.

While physical contact does not feel sexual to children in the youngest age category, teenagers from the age of twelve feel differently about it. That is why they are disgusted by the thought of intimacy with or between family members; to them, it’s all about procreation. At the same time, the feelings of disgust for physical contact with strangers decreases. ‘In terms of procreation, it’s important that teenagers are open to contact with strangers’, De Jong explains. ‘Disgust is a barrier that needs to be broken through for evolutionary purposes. If that doesn’t happen, people don’t have sex.’

More than friendship

‘But the research is concerned with pathogenic disgust, not sexual disgust’, Borg reiterates, to prevent misunderstandings. ‘Sexual disgust is a different thing altogether’, she says.

Sexual disgust is the feeling we get when thinking about sex with someone we don’t want to have it with, because they are not the optimal partner for us. ‘For example when a boy and a girl are friends’, says Borg. ‘The boy may want more than friendship at one point, while the girl absolutely doesn’t want that.’ The boy is a friend, but not a potential mate for procreation.

And what about the feelings of aversion some people have when they see two gay people kissing? Does that homophobia stem from a perceived threat about a genetically incompatible partner? No, say Borg and De Jong. That is more a kind of moral disgust. In this case, people are disgusted by this because their social environment has determined that it’s wrong. ‘The fact that some people tear down bus shelters because it features a poster of two gay people kissing is a matter of subcultural determination’, says De Jong. ‘It’s not in line with the strict rules within their social environment or subculture.’

One kind of disgust that hasn’t been studied much yet is the disgust people feel at the thought of sex between their parents. No one really wants to wonder if their parents still have sex. ‘That’s a tough one’, says Borg. ‘I’m not sure in which of the three categories that one belongs.’

My husband jokes that our daughter can’t have a boyfriend until she’s twenty

According to Borg, people would prefer to stay ignorant about their relatives’ sexual practices. And that doesn’t just pertain to children and their parents. She knows from experience that the reverse is true, as well. ‘My husband already jokes that our eighteen-month-old daughter can’t have a boyfriend until she’s twenty.’

It suggests that people are disgusted by the passionate, raw side of their family. But it’s as yet unclear why they feel this way. ‘Great subject for a new study.’

Dutch

Subscribe
Notify of

De spelregels voor reageren: blijf on topic, geen herhalingen, geen URLs, geen haatspraak en beledigingen. / The rules for commenting: stay on topic, don't repeat yourself, no URLs, no hate speech or insults.

guest

0 Reacties
Inline Feedbacks
View all comments